Sat May 4, 2013

I can't believe its been so long since I posted a blog. I actually feel sorry that I haven't posted anything until now. So. An update from me. My husband retired from work in June, 2012. He was angry all the time and just couldn't take anymore changes or technological advances in his workplace. He is an old soul and found the required changes were often a waste of time and energy. Non-productive. So he retired. He spent a few months still angry, but has gradually worked through the transition from working man to retired man. We both drove down to Florida at the beginning of March. I stayed for two weeks, then flew home to return to work. He stayed behind. He has an emotional attachment to Florida ever since he was a taken on a family holiday by his father when he was about 8 years old. His father died unexpectedly when he was nine. I think this has a lot to do with it. He has trouble dealing with losses of either the human or pet kind, and has an affiliation with Florida. He likes to be near the ocean, throwing in a line off the little dock in the back bay and seeing what he catches. He always catches and releases. He will be returning in two weeks and tells me that he has gotten Florida out of his system. We shall see. Regardless, I was getting a little sick of returning to the same place every year to see the same old retired folks and hear the same old stories over and over. I am trying to get him interested in seeing Arizona or New Mexico. I would really like to see somewhere else for a bit.

I have worked long and hard hours again, in his absence. My work has been stressful but interesting. I have had to deal with staff complaints to the Ministry of Labour, a Human Rights complaint, nursing practice issues in the PACU and a less than optimal facility. We just never know when the hydro will go out or the surgical lights will fail. Regardless of all of these issues, I still basically like my job. I have no work-life balance and struggle with this all the time.

We have had some landscaping done in the back yard. This is to provide a more welcoming respite or refuge from the maddening world and I certainly am enjoying the new look. I remain lonely at times. Sometimes the evenings are long and lonely. Sometimes the weekends are, too. Although my daughter and her boyfriend are here and I enjoy their company, something is missing for me. I speak often to my husband. He seems happy and not missing home too much. I am glad he is finally living his dream of spending an extended period of time in Florida. I do not resent his being there. So, I think that perhaps the lack of an on-site husband is not the source of my loneliness. I feel like I am just putting in time before something big happens. I feel like something is in the future for me. I feel like I need to be free. Not divorce-free. Just me-free. What is this all about?

I also find that I am angry an awful lot. Yes, just like my husband was before he retired. I told my boss just the other day that I was angry all the time. Attending a Human Rights mediation attempt was extremely frustrating. Experiencing the nonsense that a malicious complaint to the Ministry of Labour brings was extremely frustrating. Experiencing the challenges of unprofessional behaviour by so-called professional, adult nurses is extremely frustrating. The sense of entitlement from them is incredible.

I am an angry women at the nonsense that management is forced to put up with. I am angry with the sense of entitlement that unions bring to a workplace. And the waste of public dollars that I see every day. We live in such a great country, great province, and behaviours like this, and the use (? mis-use) of public money is, I feel, stealing from our society. People just don't want to be accountable for their own actions and behaviours. Its always somebody else's fault.

Enough for tonight. I need to poor myself a glass of wine.